Amy Poehler

Now sometimes, we’re not too sure just how right-on these astrological profiles are. I mean, consider Virgo, your intrepid author’s sign. Virgos are universally considered to be very buttoned-down, methodical and detail-oriented. Geesh. Meticulous and reliable. I have to wonder if my mother didn’t lie about my birth date. I’m about as flaky and they come and as far as methodical is concerned, I never do anything the same way twice. Anyway, for you archetypical Virgos, here’s your profile, according to the experts. Now intelligent and analytical, we can agree with.

It does say that we’re shy and can be difficult to land as a partner. Maybe that’s why we’re writing this on a Saturday night when all those Aquarius and Pisces are out there living it up. The best match for Virgo is Capricorn and the worst is Aquarius. One thing some experts say about the Virgo is that while they appear cool and aloof on the outside, they may be hiding emotion that is almost too intense. We’re so grateful someone recognizes this that we may have to briefly disappear and weep in a corner somewhere for a few minutes. 

If you have the Venus in Virgo placement, you manage to be careful about falling in love. You sometimes sidestep entanglement by taking shallow deficiencies in a person and inflating them disproportionately as major character defects. You carry yourself on a tight leash, because you worry that your emotions will be misused by someone undeserving. What you desire in a love relationship is someone who will judge you as unique.

Curiously, though, when you do invest your heart away it’s oftentimes to the wrong person, who will not understand your fine attributes. (For some reason, this state of Venus tends to promote embarrassment.) Venus-Virgos have several merits. You are elegant and bright, loyal and compassionate. Usually, you are a creative writer and educator; you have an outstanding business sense and a calm but clever sense of humor. Many of our distinguished government leaders and philanthropists are VenusVirgos who have provided their love to the world at large rather than to an individual person.

In Aquarius, the spirit of Mars is displayed on a mental plane. You are prompt in your responses, but before you act you need to be engaged intellectually. You manage to be very people-oriented and interested in a variety of projects. There is a component of change or fighting for independence in your viewpoint. Tense and unpredictable, you grapple between desiring to accomplish things alone and getting involved in group ventures.

There is also uncertainty in your intimate nature. You have powerful passions that are not always reachable. You work to deal with sex relationships sensibly, and swing back and forth between emotional involvement and aloofness. You recognize sensual desire but don’t want to be shackled by it. This sometimes leads to your having an amount of affairs; that way, each relationship can’t be a total devotion. As a Mars-Aquarian you have vital insights into human character.

The Pig may be the most generous and honorable Sign of the Chinese Zodiac. Pigs are nice to a fault and possess impeccable manners and taste. Pigs are simply possessed of a truly luxurious nature, one that delights in finery and nice things (in surroundings, food, lovemaking and otherwise). This Sign believes in the best qualities of mankind and certainly doesn’t consider itself to be superior.

Pigs also care a great deal about friends and family and work hard to keep everyone in their life happy. Helping others is a true pleasure for the Pig, who feels best when everyone else is smiling. A Pig with no one around to appreciate its giving nature is a sad thing indeed. Pigs are so magnanimous they can appear almost saintly; this can lead some less-than-well-intentioned souls to stomp all over this Sign, and the bad news is, the Pig will take the blows. 

Those born in years of the Chinese calendar ending in either zero or one, are said to have the element of Metal. Combined with the person’s animal zodiac symbol, this is used to define and give clues to the personality and future of the person. The element metal is said to be associated with the Western culture, the season of autumn, the Planet Venus and the color white. Those born under metal element may have an affinity for Western religion or yearn to break away from tradition.

Being close to Venus means those with a metal element are typically romantic, sentimental and kind. Those with the metal element may be more likely to suffer diseases of the lungs such as asthma. Organization and stability are the earmarks of the metal element. Metal people approach life with persistence, emotional strength, and unyielding determination. A metal person knows their goals and will not stop until those goals are met. Self –reliant, sometimes to a fault, metal people can be viewed as aloof and unconcerned with others.

The ENTP is one of the 16 MBTI personality types. ENTP stands for extravert (E), intuitive (N), thinking (T) and perceiving (P). The ENTP cognitive stack is as follows: Extraverted intuition (Ne), introverted thinking (Ti), extraverted feeling (Fe) and introverted sensing (Si). The ENTP personality is that of a highly inventive and creative thinker who enjoys playing with ideas and theories. Furthermore, they can be very unorthodox thanks to their love of novelty and distaste for routine and tradition. ENTPs are noted for their verbal wit and skill for debate.

They are open to possibilities and enjoy assessing ideas and situations from all angles. ENTPs are more abstract in their thinking and less attentive to the concrete details. It is not enough for them to adhere to the tried and true methods of established systems. Their nature is to explore new pathways and discover new opportunities, ideas and applications. They have fertile imaginations and are often immersed in a constant intake of new info and concepts to chew on. ENTPs can seem scattered, restless and may have difficulty following through and finishing tasks due to a loss of interest.