DJ Envy

Now sometimes, we’re not too sure just how right-on these astrological profiles are. I mean, consider Virgo, your intrepid author’s sign. Virgos are universally considered to be very buttoned-down, methodical and detail-oriented. Geesh. Meticulous and reliable. I have to wonder if my mother didn’t lie about my birth date. I’m about as flaky and they come and as far as methodical is concerned, I never do anything the same way twice. Anyway, for you archetypical Virgos, here’s your profile, according to the experts. Now intelligent and analytical, we can agree with.

It does say that we’re shy and can be difficult to land as a partner. Maybe that’s why we’re writing this on a Saturday night when all those Aquarius and Pisces are out there living it up. The best match for Virgo is Capricorn and the worst is Aquarius. One thing some experts say about the Virgo is that while they appear cool and aloof on the outside, they may be hiding emotion that is almost too intense. We’re so grateful someone recognizes this that we may have to briefly disappear and weep in a corner somewhere for a few minutes. 

The moon is exalted in the sign of Taurus. The steadiness of Taurus stabilizes the Moon’s otherwise fluctuating, and capricious nature. In this placement, the moon is granted with exceptional powers of focus. You approach your life the way you do your work — systematically. While others overcomplicate issues, you seek for the most effective method to handle it, and get it done even if it’s personally uncomfortable for you.

The sign of Taurus also draws out the more reserved, reflective characteristics of the Moon. You thoughtfully consider your options before reaching a determination. With a Moon in Taurus, you do not form conclusions immediately and are resistant to outside influences. It takes a while for you to reach a verdict but once you do, there is no way to make you alter your mind. With a Taurus Moon, you take your time digesting information. You are also a person who is resourceful, thrifty and a collector of tangible things. Taurus moon also exhibits the least emotional problems of any Moon sign. 

Venus-Leos are able to effortlessly draw warm responses from others. There is something so fascinating, so irresistibly attractive, about you that you enjoy fabulous acclaim. You are exceedingly loving and charitable, purchasing costly gifts for those you cherish and adore them to the skies in the presence of other people. Of course, what you need in return is a strong commitment, loyalty, and loads of attention.

You must constantly be assertive in a love affair. “All the world’s a stage” was penned about your passionate nature. No one can make a fuss or confrontation as exciting as a Venus-Leo. Needless to say, you are attracted to the business of performance, and many of you are endowed with splendid artistic faculties. You also love dainty possessions—property, garments, gems, furs. Though self-indulgent and pleasure-seeking, you are able of making vast self-sacrifice for the comfort of someone else.

Mars’s strength becomes subtle in Cancer. You possess excellent energy of determination, but it is never pushed into the open. Similar to the tides, you wear down resistance by repeated attack. Each surge may achieve little, but the aggregated outcome is overwhelming. In sex, Mars-in-Cancer’s strategy is passionate. You are sensual but elegant, and your lovemaking is a deeply instinctive art.

Your lust, however, is reliant on what is forthcoming from a sweetheart. If a beloved is indifferent or unresponsive, he or she may determine that your get-up-and-go just got up and went. Still, as a native of this Mars position, you will stick to a relationship that does not make you content. You respond only in eruptions of passion and high-strung impatience. What you often expect is an outlet for your pent-up forces. You are regarded for your breadth of vision and highly spirited work.

Being a Snake ourselves, we should be able to recite our Chinese restaurant placement profile by heart, but here it is anyway: Born in the years 1941, 1953, 1965, 1977, 1989 and 2001. Wise and intense with a tendency towards physical beauty. Vain and high tempered. The Snake is an interesting mix of extroversion paired with introversion, intuitive reasoning paired with business savoir-faire.

Snakes are considered to be lucky with money and will generally have more than enough to live life to the fullest, regardless of how important it considers money to be; this may be due to the fact that Snakes tend to be rather tight with cash. They’re not stingy; they’re simply more mentally than physically active. Snakes tend to hang back a bit in order to analyze a situation before jumping into it. Their charming, seductive quality actually belies a rather retiring nature; this Sign is perfectly happy to spend the whole day curled up with a good book and, thus, can be mislabeled as being lazy. 

The Fire element is both destructive and nourishing. On a cold winter day, there is nothing more calming to the soul than curling up by a roaring fire with a good book or cherished love one. On the other side, there is no other force on earth more destructive than a raging, out of control fire. Fire nourishes the human body by providing us heat to cook our food and light with which to see.

And, there is nothing more painful than having a part of your body taken by fire or flame. Fire signs draw attention to themselves.  Those under the influence of Fire have charm and charge on their side.  They have an infectious enthusiasm that makes them natural leaders, so people just can’t help but to follow them. They take the role of leader seriously, and do it well. For fire people, managing others comes naturally. They are decisive, compassionate, understanding yet firm.

The ENFJ is one of the 16 MBTI personality types. ENFJ stands for extraverted (E), intuitive (N), feeling (F) and judging (J). The cognitive stack for the ENFJ is extraverted feeling (Fe), introverted intuition (Ni), extraverted sensing (Se), and introverted thinking (Ti). ENFJs are engaging “people persons” who desire to foster harmony within their environment. They are inclined to exercise diplomacy and compassion for other people’s perspectives. Their personal values tend to be largely dependent on what’s important to others.

ENFJs seek to be helpful and appreciated by those around them. They are enthusiastic and positive minded with a focus on the future. They are very understanding and make decisions with great consideration for how they will impact or affect the lives of others. ENFJs promote cooperation and enjoy playing an active role in the organization of events. They make for excellent counselors and can be inspirational leaders. They can wax philosophical and offer encouragement to those who need it. ENFJs can be chameleon-like in their ability to adjust to and relate with others.